“I sit at our table”, where Solly and I have met for the last three years at 7:30, sometimes 8:00. I’m early and wait for Solly, as usual. I think about how pleasant it is to feel the breeze blowing in my face, how worried I am about the war, and how much I am not ready for this war.
Who knows what will happen? I would instead concentrate on the good things of life: the tea I have before me, the sandwiches and cheese that we’ll be noshing on in a while.
Soon, we will sit by our stone table and discuss this war situation. We will state our opinions countering each other’s. We won’t make any hard and fast decisions.
One’s mind dwells on this war situation. We can’t get away from it.
The park is an excellent place to get away from it. But you’re not away from it. It’s in your mind, you don’t see it outside. You don’t see the bombs falling around you, but your mind starts to imagine bombs falling around you.
I imagine a bomb falling on the stairway down which I walked each morning. There’s no way for me to reach the top to catch the bus and make my way to the library, which is my intention today.
Will I carry out my intentions to sit
calmly reading my books about the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Jewish religion and literary composition? Will I fulfil my intentions? In this situation, many things can come in the way of stopping those intentions.
People are still determining what will happen. The more threats that emerge, the less certain we are about the future. I might say to myself, “Well, you know, those Iranians are only big talkers, and they live in a fantasy world,” but they do have a very powerful military force.
I’m particularly concerned that they have air bases in Turkey. Their fighter jets can reach us in a few minutes from Turkey. Can we counter all those squadrons? And how are we going to defend ourselves? Are we going to be able to protect ourselves?
One can never be sure. Absolute certainty is not something that we have in this modern world; we have, in fact, absolute uncertainty. The only thing that we can be certain about is what is happening this second, this moment, as I sit by the stone table and chatter away into my recorder.
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